Here I am as of early this month.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Drivers License Victory and a New Yoga Vision
Nation...on March 26, 2010 the husband was given a drivers license! It's the first time he has held a legal license in all the time I've known him, which is now bordering 28 years. Now he just needs some work so he can drive to a job.
This weekend, I will attend a 3-day immersion in 'Core Strength Vinyasa' Yoga - a practice started by Sadie Nardini in NYC. I've been a member of her online blog, and the practice centers around not only core movements (not just in yoga), but also anatomy and how to determine when a push can be too much. I am very concerned about positioning and alignment as I am paranoid about hurting more than I already do. Between my toes, heels and knees; I barely have a leg to stand on!! HA-HA!!
Oh well, very nervous about this yoga weekend - I've already taken Monday as a vacation day in preparation for the pain.
This weekend, I will attend a 3-day immersion in 'Core Strength Vinyasa' Yoga - a practice started by Sadie Nardini in NYC. I've been a member of her online blog, and the practice centers around not only core movements (not just in yoga), but also anatomy and how to determine when a push can be too much. I am very concerned about positioning and alignment as I am paranoid about hurting more than I already do. Between my toes, heels and knees; I barely have a leg to stand on!! HA-HA!!
Oh well, very nervous about this yoga weekend - I've already taken Monday as a vacation day in preparation for the pain.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
AHIMSA...Non-violence toward all living creatures
The yogic principle of Ahimsa is to practice non-violence toward all living creatures; this apparently also means to be non-violent to yourself as well. Can't seem to adapt that part of it.
Nation...last year my husband worked a total of 11 weeks (seriously) and this year he hasn't yet worked a day. We've been living on my salary, his unemployment extensions and the final payments of a work comp settlement from 2004/2005. Well, the most recent extension has been deemed ineligible(due to not enough base weeks for last year) and there are no more work comp checks. I met with my accountant this past weekend and found out that even if I were to refinance a new mortgage rate, I'd still not be able to lower the payments to a point I alone with my salary would be able to meet on a monthly basis.
I've been sick to my stomach since Saturday and when I vocalized this to the husband, he got pissed at me, closed his eyes and said "Why are we discussing finances? What's up, you seem like something's bothering you." He asks me to share but when I do, he yells at me for what I am sharing.
I've also been feeling pretty crapped on lately at work: it all started when my boss indicated (on paper) that my bonus for all the work I did last year amounted to $11,970! It was double the highest bonus I had ever received and that was 8 years ago. I was ecstatic! Imagine my dismay when the bonus check I received was for $7400 - not chicken feed by any means, but quite a bit less than what I'd been expecting. It seems our HR manager "read the wrong line" when giving out numbers. But shouldn't my manager have known that the number was wrong; she went on about how happy she was and I truly deserved the bonus - then I get $2500 less than expected. I also felt they should be compelled to give me the number that was promised.
On top of that, my daughters salary is only $8000 less than I make - she's been working for my employer for 3 years. I've been working here for 8 years. She's in Customer Service, I manage the insurance needs and training for the 1700-vehicle sales fleet. Does anyone see a disparity here, or is it just me?
I woke up feeling crapped on this morning (regarding the above) and the husband tells me to stop beating myself up "so much negativity"; this from the man who woke up this morning complaining about aches and pains and 'how will i work when the union calls me back?', this from the man who has whined about everything and everyone--what they have and how he's been screwed, since the day I have met him...my head felt like it was on fire; all I wanted to do was scream as loud as I could. I was crying in the bathroom while he kept telling me to fuck myself from out in the hallway, mocking the sounds of my tears. All because I wouldn't cheer up on his command.
Why does he ask me what's on my mind if he can't stand to hear it? I thought I was feeling so much better until recently, and now I'd so rather be dead.
Nation...last year my husband worked a total of 11 weeks (seriously) and this year he hasn't yet worked a day. We've been living on my salary, his unemployment extensions and the final payments of a work comp settlement from 2004/2005. Well, the most recent extension has been deemed ineligible(due to not enough base weeks for last year) and there are no more work comp checks. I met with my accountant this past weekend and found out that even if I were to refinance a new mortgage rate, I'd still not be able to lower the payments to a point I alone with my salary would be able to meet on a monthly basis.
I've been sick to my stomach since Saturday and when I vocalized this to the husband, he got pissed at me, closed his eyes and said "Why are we discussing finances? What's up, you seem like something's bothering you." He asks me to share but when I do, he yells at me for what I am sharing.
I've also been feeling pretty crapped on lately at work: it all started when my boss indicated (on paper) that my bonus for all the work I did last year amounted to $11,970! It was double the highest bonus I had ever received and that was 8 years ago. I was ecstatic! Imagine my dismay when the bonus check I received was for $7400 - not chicken feed by any means, but quite a bit less than what I'd been expecting. It seems our HR manager "read the wrong line" when giving out numbers. But shouldn't my manager have known that the number was wrong; she went on about how happy she was and I truly deserved the bonus - then I get $2500 less than expected. I also felt they should be compelled to give me the number that was promised.
On top of that, my daughters salary is only $8000 less than I make - she's been working for my employer for 3 years. I've been working here for 8 years. She's in Customer Service, I manage the insurance needs and training for the 1700-vehicle sales fleet. Does anyone see a disparity here, or is it just me?
I woke up feeling crapped on this morning (regarding the above) and the husband tells me to stop beating myself up "so much negativity"; this from the man who woke up this morning complaining about aches and pains and 'how will i work when the union calls me back?', this from the man who has whined about everything and everyone--what they have and how he's been screwed, since the day I have met him...my head felt like it was on fire; all I wanted to do was scream as loud as I could. I was crying in the bathroom while he kept telling me to fuck myself from out in the hallway, mocking the sounds of my tears. All because I wouldn't cheer up on his command.
Why does he ask me what's on my mind if he can't stand to hear it? I thought I was feeling so much better until recently, and now I'd so rather be dead.
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