In response to Scarlett's comments: I thought my arm/elbow was getting better but today they had me perform a new movement (a hand strength squeezing device) and during the post-work ultrasound treatment a pain started in my arm that radiated from elbow to wrist and elbow to shoulder. I couldn't even complete the ultrasound, which I normally regard as a reward. I had to skip the electro-stim w/ice; not so much because of pain, but because some cranky old lady next to me took so f*ing long to get the correct stim setting on her terminals that it ate into my time and I had to get back to work.
The hair: yes I have had my hair this short (it was actually shorter), but it was 12 years ago. Yes, the shorter style is much easier, however, my hair is mad thick and very poofy. I may need to start using wax or mud to keep the front crown down. I don't want it to look like a deranged D.A. Remember those from the late '70s? (BONUS if you know what the letters D.A. represent in the hair industry.)
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008 - Another Impulsive Haircut
Greetings Nation. 1st: more anti-democratic propaganda arrived in the mail from Propagrampa, but no check. He said he'd send money "so you can use it now when we need it, instead of having to wait till I die." Well, I'm still waiting. Funny he never forgets the twice-weekly republican mailing. Sigh.
2nd: take a peek at yet another new me. I'm very happy with this extremely short haircut; I should have done this the last time I was at the salon and saved $50.
2nd: take a peek at yet another new me. I'm very happy with this extremely short haircut; I should have done this the last time I was at the salon and saved $50.
Now this is what I'd like to think is Graying Gracefully!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Nighttime, Friday, October 17, 2008 - UPDATE
Nation: who among us is satisfied with the level of their medical care? I thought I was well on my way to having some of more problematic physical issues rectified, and this feeling culminated when I had a visit to my primary physician 2 weeks ago. As you recall, my gyno determined that my TSH levels were high and sent me off to the primary. He prescribed thyroid meds and took more blood. I specifically stated "I want a hormone panel in this bloodwork; I need to know my estrogen and progesterin levels because perimenopause is making me insane."
I called their office today because tey never called me. He called me back tonight and told me the thyroid levels were good, and stop taking the medicine. I said, "why did you do a second thyroid panel as I just gave you the results from the week before?" He said "I was looking for antibodies indicative of thyroid inflammatory (something something)." I was really ticked at that.
So I then asked "what are my hormone levels because this menopause is making me crazy." He is quiet for a moment and then says, "Oh, I didn't order a hormone panel. I'm sorry". NOW I'M PISSED. "I specifically asked for the hormone panel so I could judge my level at perimenopause." All he could say was he was sorry, to come back in and they'd do the hormone panel.
People - who wants to take another friggin day (sick, vacation or otherwise) to get another doctor's appointment for something I expected was already done???
I'm ready for a new doctor. I really hate this guy.
I called their office today because tey never called me. He called me back tonight and told me the thyroid levels were good, and stop taking the medicine. I said, "why did you do a second thyroid panel as I just gave you the results from the week before?" He said "I was looking for antibodies indicative of thyroid inflammatory (something something)." I was really ticked at that.
So I then asked "what are my hormone levels because this menopause is making me crazy." He is quiet for a moment and then says, "Oh, I didn't order a hormone panel. I'm sorry". NOW I'M PISSED. "I specifically asked for the hormone panel so I could judge my level at perimenopause." All he could say was he was sorry, to come back in and they'd do the hormone panel.
People - who wants to take another friggin day (sick, vacation or otherwise) to get another doctor's appointment for something I expected was already done???
I'm ready for a new doctor. I really hate this guy.
Friday, October 17, 2008 - Another Haircut??
Nation: so much is happening in our world...First, of critical importance - Joe the Plumber has single-handedly put the election in Obama's lap. Had McCain NOT tried to one-up his opponent, the media wouldn't have "vetted" this poor guy from Ohio - only to broadcast on television that allegedly he's not a licensed plumber, nor allegedly is he up to date with his tax payments to the state of Ohio. I am sure he no doubt regrets ever going to an Obama rally to complain about his business situation, which by the way would benefit from an Obama tax solution.
Second, I am receiving physical therapy on my elbow. I hurt it at work from this damn constant 'mousing' for accounting reports that always need to be tweaked: cut a column here, paste a row there. Day by day, year by year, century after century we labored in the Egyptian brick pits of Ramses II...oh wait, that's The Ten Commandments. BONUS points if you can name the actor who exotically portrayed the prince turned pharaoh. NO GOOGLING!! (giveaway hint: he was also a dancing ruler in another film). Back to my PT: my arm hurts like hell. It hurts to write, drive, brush my teeth, brush my hair. I can't push or pull a door, twist open a cap, or shift the car. I keep it tightly wrapped when working, but it's really starting to annoy me. The PT is cold packs administered with electro-stimulation. I was thinking "hmm, water plus electricity...this could be an issue." My dad was a licensed union electrician - I know a few things. But the therapist assured me this is widely regarded in western medicine. So they hooked me up and flipped the switch. I'm still here, so I guess it works in practice, but in theory it is madness.
Third, MY HAIR is gay. I cannot do a damn thing with it, it looks awful, and I have to attend a 3-day "team management meeting" with my boss and the rest of our department. We have members in a couple of states and the UK so after we go on a site visit to our NJ warehouse, we'll be going to dinner somewhere on the waterfront. (<-another movie reference) Anyway my hair is completely unprofessional and hardly presentable for strangers in public at an expensive restaurant. May have to drop by the hairdresser and have more cut off. Then hope the new look either lasts through the meetings, or is easy enough for me to maintain. That seems to be the tipping point - ease of maintenance.
Fourth and finally - the fatness. I cannot close the waistbands of the largest pants I own, so I just zip and wear a big-ass shirt over the pants. I'm like George Costanza in sweatpants - I've given up.
More to follow after either the hair or the meeting.
Second, I am receiving physical therapy on my elbow. I hurt it at work from this damn constant 'mousing' for accounting reports that always need to be tweaked: cut a column here, paste a row there. Day by day, year by year, century after century we labored in the Egyptian brick pits of Ramses II...oh wait, that's The Ten Commandments. BONUS points if you can name the actor who exotically portrayed the prince turned pharaoh. NO GOOGLING!! (giveaway hint: he was also a dancing ruler in another film). Back to my PT: my arm hurts like hell. It hurts to write, drive, brush my teeth, brush my hair. I can't push or pull a door, twist open a cap, or shift the car. I keep it tightly wrapped when working, but it's really starting to annoy me. The PT is cold packs administered with electro-stimulation. I was thinking "hmm, water plus electricity...this could be an issue." My dad was a licensed union electrician - I know a few things. But the therapist assured me this is widely regarded in western medicine. So they hooked me up and flipped the switch. I'm still here, so I guess it works in practice, but in theory it is madness.
Third, MY HAIR is gay. I cannot do a damn thing with it, it looks awful, and I have to attend a 3-day "team management meeting" with my boss and the rest of our department. We have members in a couple of states and the UK so after we go on a site visit to our NJ warehouse, we'll be going to dinner somewhere on the waterfront. (<-another movie reference) Anyway my hair is completely unprofessional and hardly presentable for strangers in public at an expensive restaurant. May have to drop by the hairdresser and have more cut off. Then hope the new look either lasts through the meetings, or is easy enough for me to maintain. That seems to be the tipping point - ease of maintenance.
Fourth and finally - the fatness. I cannot close the waistbands of the largest pants I own, so I just zip and wear a big-ass shirt over the pants. I'm like George Costanza in sweatpants - I've given up.
More to follow after either the hair or the meeting.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008 - Onset of Severe Depression
Similar to the immediate onset of depression I felt on 9/19/08, I sit here at my work cubicle trying not to scream and cry. Don't know where it came from, but I must admit - I did not want to come in the building this morning. I'm hurting so bad I cannot even think straight.
I just want to be home in bed unaware.
I just want to be home in bed unaware.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008 - Post-Spa Afterglow
Oh, Nation - I must recommend at least once in your life to go to a real spa and enjoy a body polishing. From head to toe I was salted, sloughed, slathered, and scented. And it wasn't over; after nice orange water, ginger tea and lunch, it was time for couples massage with my daughter. We picked the aromatherapy oils for ourselves (we each picked Garden Fusion without knowing), and the 80 minutes of rubbing began. I fell asleep three times, and wondered what were the weird sounds I kept hearing (it was me snoring quietly) - I kept waking myself up! The second time, I woke up to my daughter and her massage therapist giggling at me. Here we are after the massage, standing in front of a serenity stone - a great obelisk of a water feature:
After more water and tea, we drove back - fully exhausted, bordering brain dead - to have dinner at the condo. We then decided we weren't quite too tired, so drove back to Woodstock for a little shopping.
It was a wonderful 2 days of connection and bonding. Very expensive (I'm sure next time I'll look closer to home for similar services), but worth it.
I chose the body polish prior to the massage as it was to awaken my skin to the full restoration of the massage. I was a submissive participant to the talented hands of, first, Chris for the polish and then Audrey for the massage. (NOTE: I don't stop to think very often of exactly how much stress I am truly under. My greatest concern is the lack of union work for my husband. His job keeps me in this house and with medical benefits. He won't get benefits next year, though, as he hasn't worked the necessary number of hours this year. I'll have to purchase the benfits from my employer: they will cost a large deduction of my salary, and I already know they won't be as comprehensive. ) These unspoken, subconscious stressors have really done a number on me, both physically and emotionally this past year. So the massage really drained that out of my lymph nodes. When I finally went to bed, I slept though the night and next morning a total of 11 hours. I haven't slept like that since I stopped drinking - 20 years ago.
In our photo, my daughter is concerned she looks too pale, however, in comparison to me she looks downright olive (just like paternal grandma Rose aka "Nana Goo-Goo"). I on the other hand appear to be knocking at death's door; my hair,eyes, and skin are the same color with the exception of the horrible rosy cheeks. People worry about "crow's feet"; I look like I've been attacked and stamped by a flock of angry crows.
After more water and tea, we drove back - fully exhausted, bordering brain dead - to have dinner at the condo. We then decided we weren't quite too tired, so drove back to Woodstock for a little shopping.It was a wonderful 2 days of connection and bonding. Very expensive (I'm sure next time I'll look closer to home for similar services), but worth it.
I chose the body polish prior to the massage as it was to awaken my skin to the full restoration of the massage. I was a submissive participant to the talented hands of, first, Chris for the polish and then Audrey for the massage. (NOTE: I don't stop to think very often of exactly how much stress I am truly under. My greatest concern is the lack of union work for my husband. His job keeps me in this house and with medical benefits. He won't get benefits next year, though, as he hasn't worked the necessary number of hours this year. I'll have to purchase the benfits from my employer: they will cost a large deduction of my salary, and I already know they won't be as comprehensive. ) These unspoken, subconscious stressors have really done a number on me, both physically and emotionally this past year. So the massage really drained that out of my lymph nodes. When I finally went to bed, I slept though the night and next morning a total of 11 hours. I haven't slept like that since I stopped drinking - 20 years ago.
In our photo, my daughter is concerned she looks too pale, however, in comparison to me she looks downright olive (just like paternal grandma Rose aka "Nana Goo-Goo"). I on the other hand appear to be knocking at death's door; my hair,eyes, and skin are the same color with the exception of the horrible rosy cheeks. People worry about "crow's feet"; I look like I've been attacked and stamped by a flock of angry crows.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008 - Jailhouse Rock!
Nation - as promised here is the drawing from Propagrampa. I called him yesterday to sincerely thank him for the cartoon and told him he really made me feel differently about the discussion we had regarding his methods. He assured me he's not obsessed; he just can't stand by watching generations of people having to pay for "stolen" payroll contributions. (He's got issues with social security, but I give the guy some leeway.)
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008 - Mommy & Me Spa Day!
Greetings Nation.
I'm not feeling that great today, although I did manage to get laid yesterday. Changes in libido seem to be a perimenopausal issue as well as all the other crap; 1 year ago my husband was telling me "not tonight, I don't feel good"; I couldn't get enough. Now my situation is almost 180 degree turn. I don't like this, and I must admit, I'm not feeling as sexy as I felt 50 pounds ago.
As a belated birthday gift for my daughter, I am taking her to upstate NY to a great spa for an overnight trip - just she and I. My husband's friend has graciously donated his mountain rental condo for a freebie stay, so we'll be there for 2 nights. All day at the spa on Friday - scheduled luxuries: cranial massage, amber body polish, spa lunch, full body aromatherapy massages for two! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. I love spending time with my daughter as she is quickly growing up away from me.
Notes on my beloved child: never could there be a more perfect flower than my baby girl. With her faults and troubles, I'd never choose another. She's my one and only - truly the only reason I was ever born. She's everything I'm not, and all that I could aspire to be.
She's a senior in college, due to graduate in December 2008. She's made the Dean's List for the 3rd time in 4 years, and this time has been invited to the dinner. I'm going, too! Yay for me!
She has been published; her freshman year essay, "The Art of Growing Up" is part of the permanent collection in her college's library. She was nominated for a second publication in junior year, but didn't make it. Doesn't matter: her professor felt her worthy of the nomination.
After graduation, she'll be applying to (and hopefully accepted at) a local graduate school to master in School Psychology. She's had some very influential school staffers in her educational life and this is a good fit for her. She'll have come full circle with her life and be ready to start another chapter.
She has her father's look, however, anything having to do with me lays beneath the surface: she's the funniest person I've ever known (myself included) as she uses intelligence with her humor. She's dry, dark, and hysterically observant.
When I talk about her, I never search for adjectives or trip over my tongue. I'm not looking forward to the empty nest which will surely come one day. I'll have to talk to the husband all the time; who is he, anyway?
Seems anti-climactic to end here, but I can sum my relationship up in 4 words: She's all I have.
I'm not feeling that great today, although I did manage to get laid yesterday. Changes in libido seem to be a perimenopausal issue as well as all the other crap; 1 year ago my husband was telling me "not tonight, I don't feel good"; I couldn't get enough. Now my situation is almost 180 degree turn. I don't like this, and I must admit, I'm not feeling as sexy as I felt 50 pounds ago.
As a belated birthday gift for my daughter, I am taking her to upstate NY to a great spa for an overnight trip - just she and I. My husband's friend has graciously donated his mountain rental condo for a freebie stay, so we'll be there for 2 nights. All day at the spa on Friday - scheduled luxuries: cranial massage, amber body polish, spa lunch, full body aromatherapy massages for two! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. I love spending time with my daughter as she is quickly growing up away from me.
Notes on my beloved child: never could there be a more perfect flower than my baby girl. With her faults and troubles, I'd never choose another. She's my one and only - truly the only reason I was ever born. She's everything I'm not, and all that I could aspire to be.
She's a senior in college, due to graduate in December 2008. She's made the Dean's List for the 3rd time in 4 years, and this time has been invited to the dinner. I'm going, too! Yay for me!
She has been published; her freshman year essay, "The Art of Growing Up" is part of the permanent collection in her college's library. She was nominated for a second publication in junior year, but didn't make it. Doesn't matter: her professor felt her worthy of the nomination.
After graduation, she'll be applying to (and hopefully accepted at) a local graduate school to master in School Psychology. She's had some very influential school staffers in her educational life and this is a good fit for her. She'll have come full circle with her life and be ready to start another chapter.
She has her father's look, however, anything having to do with me lays beneath the surface: she's the funniest person I've ever known (myself included) as she uses intelligence with her humor. She's dry, dark, and hysterically observant.
When I talk about her, I never search for adjectives or trip over my tongue. I'm not looking forward to the empty nest which will surely come one day. I'll have to talk to the husband all the time; who is he, anyway?
Seems anti-climactic to end here, but I can sum my relationship up in 4 words: She's all I have.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008 - Update on the Issues
Nation...you all know the situation between myself and Propagrampa is tenuous at best; I believe that he felt I was trying to warn him about his criminal activities out of worry for him, while it was actually more of a self-supporting need for schadenfreude. I was quite disappointed when I did not get the argumentative rise from him that I was anticipating.
Well just after you spend 100 years with someone and think you cannot learn anymore, they turn around and surprise you. On Wednesday, a birthday card arrived from Propagrampa for my daughter. With the card came (of course) more propaganda for me, but also a little cartoon drawing of an old man behind bars in jail. He included a note: "Jacqueline - is this good enough for jail?" or something to that effect. I couldn't believe it! He listened! The receipt of that cartoon moved something long buried in me - joy from the contact with another person. Who would have thought it would come from Propagrampa?
I'll scan the drawing and post it Monday for you all.
When my daughter was growing up, she would often complain about the meanness of others or how another kid was dumb, or whatever. I told her, "Everyone has something positive to offer. You just have to give them a chance." I guess the FIL proved my own point to me.
Well just after you spend 100 years with someone and think you cannot learn anymore, they turn around and surprise you. On Wednesday, a birthday card arrived from Propagrampa for my daughter. With the card came (of course) more propaganda for me, but also a little cartoon drawing of an old man behind bars in jail. He included a note: "Jacqueline - is this good enough for jail?" or something to that effect. I couldn't believe it! He listened! The receipt of that cartoon moved something long buried in me - joy from the contact with another person. Who would have thought it would come from Propagrampa?
I'll scan the drawing and post it Monday for you all.
When my daughter was growing up, she would often complain about the meanness of others or how another kid was dumb, or whatever. I told her, "Everyone has something positive to offer. You just have to give them a chance." I guess the FIL proved my own point to me.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008 - Anti-vacation trip to the family compound
Here's a synopsis: We had no where to stay once we got there (too many family members staying over at 3 houses) so we spent money that we don't have for hotels. The weather sucked for the entire 4 days. We had already given the niece her baby shower gift in August, so we really never should have gone.
I left my favorite pajamas on the back of the bathroom door on a hook at the hotel and housekeeping didn't turn them in. Who steals gross pajamas? What if I have a disease or hate to wear underpants??
Per my blog, I tried to alert my FIL to his being in contempt of several laws regarding the theft of intellectual property, however, he is sure no one would ever prosecute him and as long as he's getting out the message, that's more important. If the husband had left the room, I would have konked the FIL on the head with a toner cartridge. I feel robbed of my schadenfreude moment.
Preliminary blood work indicates a serious thyroid issue; I have a follow-up appt on this Friday with my primary physician.
Life sucks.
The daughter's boyfriend has credit purchased a Harley Davidson m/c. He doesn't eat vegetables and wonders why he is the most unhealthy adult I have ever known.
Sighhhhh.....
I left my favorite pajamas on the back of the bathroom door on a hook at the hotel and housekeeping didn't turn them in. Who steals gross pajamas? What if I have a disease or hate to wear underpants??
Per my blog, I tried to alert my FIL to his being in contempt of several laws regarding the theft of intellectual property, however, he is sure no one would ever prosecute him and as long as he's getting out the message, that's more important. If the husband had left the room, I would have konked the FIL on the head with a toner cartridge. I feel robbed of my schadenfreude moment.
Preliminary blood work indicates a serious thyroid issue; I have a follow-up appt on this Friday with my primary physician.
Life sucks.
The daughter's boyfriend has credit purchased a Harley Davidson m/c. He doesn't eat vegetables and wonders why he is the most unhealthy adult I have ever known.
Sighhhhh.....
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