Nation - is someone sane when they can feel the depression coming on? I can't even word what is wrong, but I am crying as I write this. I feel so stupid and worthless, I don't want to do anything that might take time to make me feel better; this includes cleaning the house, cooking, walking. I've been sleeping not only my 8 straight hours at night, but have taken 3-hour naps on Thursday and Friday, and am looking forward to one today.
I have to postpone my upcoming doctor appt, because I want to make sure I lose a couple of pounds so she keeps me on the phentermine. I also want her to up the dose. I've been using 37.5mg for years on and off (she doesn't know this), and she's got me on 15mg. Like that will ever help my fat ass.
This depression comes on the heels of the most hormonally-surged two weeks I've had since I can't even remember when. Following my husband around the house like a dog in heat. When I think of it, I'm kind of grossed out, as who wants an out-of-shape 50 year old panting around? I guess it's okay with him, or else he's a really good actor.
I do need to venture out later for a huge container to hold wrapping paper, and I need a couple of bottles of sandalwood-scented oil for my warmer in the car.
OK - back from the slog of humanity that is Saturday shopping in Paramus. I went - for the very first time - to The Container Store. What a bunch of crap! The prices were outrageous. Everything was made in China. I'm so tired of everything, it's nauseating. I never made it to The Body Shop for the sandlewood oil; too tired.
I need my Jamie, in his kilt, riding behind me on horseback, whispering all he'll do to me once we get home.
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It may be hormonal, but even if it isn't or weren't, it is still okay to want your husband and to show it. Matter of fact, it's commendable that after so many years you still want HIM! --- I mean, think of all the women who would bypass the hubs entirely and just "pant" as you say, after another man instead, right? So give yourself some credit. You're allowed!
The depressive bouts, that's rough stuff, but the fact that you were able to even care about buying a container for.. wrapping paper was it?..is a very good sign.
Being a woman is not easy, truly.
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