end the marriage...?

I always get upset when the husband says we have nothing in common, but we really don't. Not only that, we have nothing about which to even talk. He hates when I read a book, but especially when I use the internet. He calls it my 'other life'. Who wants to discuss the news? how pathetic to go that route. Our family members (his sister & brothers) are so far from our place that discussion of their issues is meaningless. As to our daughter; she is quite her own person and I do not see her staying with us much longer - I'm hopeful until she finishes grad school. Then I know I'll have been a good mother.

I used to cry when thinking about ending my marriage...from fear or the unknown. But how much different would my life be, married or not? I wouldn't be any more alone than I am now; I know I wouldn't be yelled at for whatever chore I didn't perform. That would be a good thing. I wouldn't be running down to the pantry in the basement to scrape my arms with the blade of a knife...just a hint away from true cutting. The only thing I would lose is my house; I could not afford to pay for it on my own, but neither could the husband.

I wouldn't have to listen to his litany of resentments, which always sends me to a bag of tostito's lime chips or a bag of truffles. The empty-carb hour is 330-430; then I start dinner.

my life is drawn out like Dante's Inferno, with it's many levels and rooms of torture.