Tuesday, December 2, 2008 - Where the hell is the fuckin' chicken salad??

Before I say anything, let me state absolutely that I believe in a condition further to be known as "Menopause Hurricane" and I must have been suffering it's effects on the day in question.

Nation...I am sure you are all aware, as am I, of the sorry state of customer service in the retail industry. So very few retail employees are actually willing to assist you with what you need; they want to just spit an answer and get you out of there.

Here's my situation: Tuesday night, 7PM, at my local Costco. My prize: Cape Cod Chicken Salad (take my word for it; it's Thanksgiving on a lettuce leaf.) It's not in it's regular (and still tagged) spot on the refrigerated shelf. I look for a happy employee in a red vest to ask for assistance. To the employee I found I related my story of not finding the CCCS where it is kept, and I was wondering if maybe they placed it elsewhere to allow space for the Hombre Grande Nacho Tubs. He didn't bat an eye, never left the spot he was standing, and said: if it's not out there, we don't have any. "How do you know?" I asked, already ticked, "the tag is still on the shelf." He says, "Oh, that's a very popular item. When we put it out, it sells quick." (First of all...that's a lie. It has always been on the shelf and has never been in need of restocking. Fuckin' lazy ass) "Fine, when will you be getting more delivered?" He replies, "you'll have to ask up front."

Rewind to November 8th. I was again at Costco, looking for CCCS. I was able to wrangle a very helpful employee who looked all over the store and did find the product, however, it was buried in a storage refrigerator. Could I come back tomorrow, and he'd make sure they put some out overnight; there were 109 pieces in-house per the Inventory system. I assured him I would, and I did, and happily went home with 2 containers to last me through Thanksgiving.

Now, back to last Tuesday. I went (more like stormed) "up front". I started my story again, as I didn't want the front-end assistant to know about the guy I had already talked to. She looks up the product on the Inventory system. There are 53 pieces in house. WHERE IS MY FUCKIN' CCCS? Told her I made a special trip for it (which was true) and could someone look around for me? She picks up the phone to call back there, BUT - lo and behold - who comes up front at that moment but the lazy ass I had already spoken to. "John", she calls to him, "are you on break? I need you to find some CCCS." He says, "There is none. I looked." NOW I'M REALLY FURIOUS. I said to her, "He looked on the same shelf I looked on." So she says, "Inventory shows 53 pieces." He answers, "Well, there's probably a problem with inventory." She looks at me, blankly. I ask, "Are you telling me that when each container is purchased it does not get subtracted from the total of pieces?" He jumps in, "They entered more than they received." I said "by 53 pieces??" It was obvious she was not going to be of any help to me. So I asked when more would be delivered. She says, "Well, it's an active item. We get trucks in every day." Then she smiles, this huge toothy grin, as if to say "This conversation is over" almost robotic (like a Stepford wife).

I went back last night, Thursday, and not finding my f'ing CCCS, found an employee willing to dig around and actually use the Inventory system (imagine!) on his own (I didn't have to go "up front"). There are still 53 pieces in house, but he was willing to note it on a receiving sheet to have it returned to the shelf where the tag still hangs, in front of the Hombre Grande tub of Nacho dip.