Another great old song ("Dark Side of the Moon" - Pink Floyd)
Nation...haven't we all had a "friend" in our lives at some point that drives us absolutely insane? The type that you start thinking about killing just to silence their constant clammering, while they think the things they do are normal because they have good hearts?? The type that when they call on the phone, you're exhausted at the end and just fall into a fitful sleep? They continually do the same inane things repeatedly expecting different results. Gather 'round children and I'll tell you a story. "I hope to impart a lesson, because that's what I do" (<-actual quote from Propagrampa).
Once upon a time, there was a married woman having a 9-year affair. She tried to break off the affair, but the man (who was also married) wrote letters to her husband, daughter and son with details of the affair. She started seeing him again (for 3 more years) after he followed her to her next employer. (It was at this point I happened to meet her, and with a love of animals between us, we became friends.)She saw him for a few more years and then had decided her marriage of 30 years could not be saved, so she filed for divorce. After all this crap, her husband was crushed and wanted to try therapy. She found an apartment and moved out. She then told me she had met someone through work that was her soulmate. I was glad because she deserved to be happy with someone who didn't talk/act like they were better than her (her husband was kind of a 'know-it-all'). Then she started talking about Mr Soulmate and his loveless marriage. I said, "Why aren't you trying to meet someone who is single and available for a relationship with you?" She explained that going through the divorce, she didn't want a commitment. I said that she'd be better off by herself for a while so she could actually find out who SHE was without the involvement of any men.
While she was seeing Mr Soulmate, she was berated by Mr Stalker for not seeing him. He showed up at her new apartment doorstep one morning after she got home from an overnight shift at her job. I said, "Oh my god - how did he find you??" She had given him the address "in case he ever needed anything." I said, "Why would you give your address to someone you're not seeing? Have you ever heard of a telephone...?" So, then she decided that as she was growing older, no one seemed to be the type of man to grow old with except her husband, so she started therapy, and broke it off with Mr Soulmate, but never cut the tie with Mr Stalker (hedging her bets, I guess.) She kept him in the dark about her marriage counseling. I was so upset with her. At one point, she told me she found a camera running inside a motorcycle helmet on a dresser after a sexual encounter between the two of them.
There were several incidents where her safety was in question, and the fact that she was always willing to be with him "because he has no one to take care of him." (By the way, he is STILL married and lives separately from his wife.) But the incident that made me stop talking to her was when she caught a sexually-transmitted disease from Mr. Stalker. She was shocked. I said, "you were sleeping with Mr. Soulmate, and your husband, and Mr Stalker. Did you really think he was exclusive to you???" "Well, yes, because he is always so lonely." I guess not too lonely hmmm? When she told Mr Stalker he just laughed. She never told her husband that she was infected, and may have slept with him during their reconciliation, which did not work out. She explained she couldn't tell the husband as it would just break his heart. So she abandoned her duty to the women of Planet Earth and this guy is a walking clamydia case waiting to land in some woman.
I stopped returning her calls in July 2007 after my brother passed away. I couldn't be bothered anymore with her drama, on top of the loss of Christopher. Time passed and she stopped calling.
Fast forward: Monday, November 17, nighttime 8PM: as I was coming up my deck stairs to return to the house from the garage, I heard a voice behind me in my driveway "Hello." I nearly jumped out my skin! The husband heard me yell over the sound of running water in the bathroom while he was on his knees unclogging a drain. I said, "Jesus you could have called", she answered with "I thought you probably wouldn't take the call." Blah blah blah she's doing whatever, I'm doing nothing but the same, everybody's fine.
She said we haven't spoken in a while and she really wanted to be friends (or something) again. I told her what I should have told her a year ago; that I have serious issues with how she handles her personal life and she wanted to know did I think I could get past it? I sighed and just looked at her. Did I want to talk about it? Well, actually, no. Also, even while I said this, she offered no current info on her situation; not that it would have made a bit of difference to me at that point. I've been living just fine without her drama for the past 16 months (I so cannot believe that so much time has passed. Not for talking to her, but since my brother passed away)
Longer story short, she left. Hopefully for good. Honestly, what type of person just shows up after not seeing you for 18 months and not talking to you for 16 months? A psycho. I was really pissed that she just showed up like that. If you call me and I don't answer oh well. That's what message machines are for. The only people who should show up at houses unannounced should at least be in current friendly communication.
Morale of the story: Don't shit where you eat.
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